Style: Comedy/Family
Actors: 5M, 2F
Summary: A starship crew are on a mission to find The Beginning.
Keywords: The Beginning, meaning of Life, God’s plan, Christ’s image
Scripture: John 3:3, Romans 8:29, John 1:1
Characters:
Captain Berk – heroic leader
Comms Officer Lieutenant Yoohoo – a bit stupid
Mr Spook – Vulcan, unemotional, logical
Doctor ‘Moans’ McCaw – overreacts, angry
Chief Engineer ‘Spotty’– thick Scottish accent
Mr Checkout – phony Russian
Angel – dizzy blonde
Script
Scene 1
(Stage with swivel chairs, desks etc. Intro music & video sfx. Lights off.)
Captain: (Microphone offstage.) Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Destiny. Its 5 year mission: to seek out New Life and the answers to the ultimate questions – Why are we here? Where did we come from? What is our purpose? And what’s for dinner? To boldly go where no man has bothered to go before….
(Theme music sfx. Starship bridge background. Enter Berk stage left.)
Captain: I am Captain James T. Berk of the Starship Destiny. We have been given a top-secret assignment; by far our most difficult mission yet.
(Enter Lieutenant Yoohoo stage left, carrying a log)
Yoohoo: Excuse me, Captain – where shall I put this?
Captain: What is it, Lieutenant Yoohoo?
Yoohoo: It’s the captain’s log, sir.
Captain: Very good, Yoohoo. Put it on my chair and take your position. (To audience) Yoohoo, my communications officer. Good at her job, but as bright as a blackout. (To Yoohoo) Gather the rest of the staff together, lieutenant, it’s time for a briefing.
Yoohoo: Yes sir. (Over intercom) Would all officers without briefs please report to the bridge immediately.
(Enter Spook, McCaw & Spotty, stage right, talking among themselves; Checkout enters stage left. All take up positions on bridge.)
Captain: Let me introduce you to the rest of my crew – Chief Science Officer, Mr Spook.
Spook: Live long and perspire. It is my role to ensure that our assignment is accomplished in a completely rational manner, without the interference of illogical emotions.
McCaw: Oh, put a sock in it, you boring big-eared drone. By the way, I’m Doctor ‘Moans’ McCaw, chief medical officer on this old rust bucket.
Spotty: This is no rust bucket! She’s a class 22 starship. The dylithium crystals in this beauty are the best in the galaxy.
Captain: As you might have guessed, this is Mr Spot, my Chief Engineer.
Spotty: Aye, the Captain’s got his left ear, his right ear, his chief engine-ear…
All: And his final front-ear!
Captain: Enough with the jokes already. What is our position, Mr Checkout?
Checkout: Our present position is 28-44-92 point 7, sir.
McCaw: What in blazes does that mean?
Checkout: It means we’re on the bridge.
Captain: I have called this meeting to inform you of our latest mission. Having been briefed by the Admiral, let me say it is the most important, but most difficult mission ever assigned to the Starship Destiny.
Spook: That is illogical, Captain. The probability of any mission being more difficult than negotiating a peace settlement on the planet Chrysanthemum 5 is 0.0034%
McCaw: And what could be more important than finding the cure for that deadly virus outbreak in the Colgate nebula?
Captain: Lady and gentlemen, it is our mission to seek out (Dramatic pause, all focussing into the distance.) the source of the universe – to find The Beginning.
(Incredulity all round.)
Spotty: That’s impossible, Captain. No-one knows how or when the universe started.
Checkout: Where exactly are we supposed to start?
Captain: I suggest, Mr Checkout, that we start right here. Mr Spook, you’re the science officer. What do you think?
Spook: We could follow the Big Bang theory, but (pause) that would be illogical, Captain.
McCaw: Now why in the name of Hippocrates would that be illogical? It sounds like a perfectly good lead to me.
Spook: On the contrary, Doctor. The Big Bang theory presupposes that matter can be produced purely as the result of energy. The basic formula for relativity tells us that mass produces energy – not the other way around.
McCaw: Say what?
Spotty: Aye, he’s right an’ a’. What’s more, the second law of thermodynamics states that, over time, everything moves taewards disorder. The big bang theory would have us believe that order came out of chaos. But it just couldnae happen like that.
Captain: So just where do we start looking for the answers?
Yoohoo: At the beginning, sir.
Checkout: That’s ridiculous! We’re looking for The Beginning, so how can we start at The Beginning? If we started at The Beginning, we would have found what we were looking for, so we wouldn’t need to start looking at all!
(Pause – everyone looking at Checkout, agog)
McCaw: I think I understand that – but we do have to start somewhere.
Spook: In order to deduce the right answer, one has to ask the right question.
Captain: Good thinking, Spook. OK, let’s have some suggestions as to what might be the right question.
(Much pacing about, pondering & thoughtful poses)
Spotty: How about this – “When was The Beginning?” The Destiny can travel at speeds up tae warp factor 9. That means we could actually travel back in time tae find the answer.
Captain: That’s brilliant, Spotty! Right – full ahead Mr Checkout. Warp factor 9.
Checkout: Aye, aye sir. Just one question, sir.
Captain: Yes, Mr Checkout.
Checkout: Where are we going?
(Everyone slowly realises that they don’t know)
Spook: A good point, Mr Checkout. There is no point in trying to find out the time of The Beginning if we do not know the place.
McCaw: Maybe that should be our question – “Where was The Beginning?”
Yoohoo: The universe is a very big place, you know. It could take us ages to find the place of The Beginning. And I’m supposed to be going on holiday in a couple of weeks.
Spotty: Yoohoo is right. Finding the place of The Beginning would be like trying tae find a needle in a zillion haystacks.
Captain: Point taken, Mr Spot. Well, we’re not making much progress here, are we? We can’t work on when or where The Beginning was. Any ideas, team?
(Silence. All look blank)
Yoohoo: Why was The Beginning?
Checkout: “Why was The Beginning?”? What kind of question is that?
Spook: I think Yoohoo may be on to something there. It is impossible to find out the time or place of The Beginning – perhaps we should find out the reason for The Beginning.
McCaw: Good thinking, Yoohoo. If we know the purpose for The Beginning, we’ll surely accomplish our mission.
Captain: So we are agreed. (Triumphantly) Our question is “Why was The Beginning?” (Much back-slapping, high-5s. Dies down.) Now all we need is the answer.
(Dejection all round. Uhura whistle sfx.)
Yoohoo: I’m receiving an interstellar communication on a sub-space frequency, Captain. It’s someone claiming they can help us find an answer!
Checkout: That’s impossible. No-one outside the bridge knows we’ve asked a question.
Spook: I suggest we prepare to beam them aboard, Captain.
Spotty: My instruments tell me they’re preparing to beam themselves aboard.
Captain: Spotty, Checkout – phasers on stun.
(“Beam up” sfx. Angel leaps on stage left. Crew falls back in fear)
Angel: Fear not!
McCaw: That’s easy for you to say.
Angel: Behold I bring you glad tidings of great joy! Oops, sorry – wrong speech.
Captain: Welcome aboard the Starship Destiny. I am Captain James …..
Angel: …T Berk. Yes, I know. I’m here to help you find the answer to your question and accomplish your mission.
Spotty: There’s been a serious breach of security if ye know what our mission is.
Spook: I’m also intrigued how you know that we have a question.
Angel: Let’s just say I know Someone in High Places.
Yoohoo: So, do you know how to find The Beginning?
Angel: Oh yes. That’s where I’ve just come from.
McCaw: How do you know The Beginning?
Angel: I’ve known The Beginning all my life – I was created by The Beginning.
Checkout: I wish you wouldn’t speak in riddles.
Angel: It’s all very simple really. Now, I’m here to point you in the right direction. Mr Checkout, chart a course for planet Earth.
Checkout: Is that where we’ll find The Beginning?
Angel: Patience, Mr Checkout; all will be revealed. I have to leave you now, but I’m allowed to give you a clue. When you get to Earth, seek out the Book of The Beginning.
Yoohoo: Thank-you for all your help.
Angel: I may be seeing you later. (“Beam up” sfx. Angel leaps off, stage left)
Captain: Well, Mr Checkout, you heard our friend – destination planet Earth. Warp factor 9.
(As Checkout hits the button to go, all crew thrown back as if by G-forces)
Spotty: I’ve got tae start installing seat belts on this thing. D’ye think we’ll find what we’re looking for, Captain?
Captain: To find that out, you’ll need to tune in to the next episode of – Starship Destiny.
(Theme tune sfx. Lights out)
Scene 2
(Bible planted at front of stage. Scene set for the bridge. Bridge background on wall. Single spot light fades up on Captain. Spotty standing motionless upstage right)
Captain: (Holding log) Captain’s log supplemental. We are still on our mission to seek out The Beginning. Following the advice of our mysterious visitor, we have journeyed to Earth. Our next move is to beam down an away team to the planet’s surface to find the Book of The Beginning. I have assigned McCaw and Spook to this challenging task. Mr Spot.
Spotty: Transporter functional, sir.
Captain: Prepare to beam two to the planet.
Spotty: Aye, Captain.
Captain: God knows what awaits them down there.
(Light fades down momentarily. Captain & Spotty exit stage left. Background off. Lights fade up. “Beam up” sfx. McCaw & Spook enter from rear of auditorium, surveying their new surroundings)
McCaw: So, here we are. Funny looking place.
Spook: I see nothing amusing whatsoever. I think we should conduct some research.
McCaw: Yeah, let’s find someone to experiment on.
Spook: (Approaches someone familiar in audience) Live long and perspire. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.
(Encourage participant to direct you to minister/pastor in audience. McCaw & Spook bring leader to front of stage)
McCaw: These are incredible tricorder readings. It’s life, Spook, but not as we know it.
Spook: What exactly do you mean, Doctor?
McCaw: According to this analysis, this man has been born twice.
Spook: Born twice? But that is illogical, Doctor. How can a man be born a second time?
McCaw: I have no idea. Perhaps the answer will be found in the Book of The Beginning. This is incredible! These readings indicate that this man is being regenerated as we speak!
Spook: How can that be? Let me see the results. That is truly remarkable. It is as though he is being renewed day by day…
McCaw: … receiving new life from some great power source. But how?
Spook: We have many questions, but as yet no answers. I believe we will find the answers when we locate the Book of The Beginning. I will now attempt to communicate with this being. (To participant, performing mind meld.) Where can we find the Book of The Beginning? (Spook encourages participant to give him the Bible at front of stage)
McCaw: (To participant) Thank-you for your assistance. You may now return to your people. (To Spook) This is fantastic! We’ve actually found the Book of The Beginning! Let’s get back to the Destiny. I can’t wait to find the answers to our questions. (Wanders off towards stage right, spellbound by the Bible)
Spook: I don’t understand why he gets so excited. It’s so … illogical. And if he steals my line again, he’ll get a Vulcan nerve pinch where it hurts. (Takes out communicator) Spook to Destiny. Mr Spot, two to beam on board – and we have the Book. Beam us up, Spotty.
(“Beam up” sfx. Lights fade momentarily. Enter Captain, Yoohoo & Checkout to positions. Captain looking pensive. Yoohoo & Checkout busy. Lights fade up. Enter Spotty, stage left)
Spotty: Captain, they’ve done it! They’ve found the Book.
Captain: Great news, Mr Spot. Where are they?
Spotty: They’re on their way here now.
(Enter Spook, stage right)
Spook: Intriguing, Captain. Absolutely intriguing.
(Enter McCaw, stage right, holding Bible in awe)
McCaw: Utterly amazing, Jim. I’ve never come across anything like it.
Yoohoo: What’s all the excitement about?
McCaw: First of all, we found a being on the planet called a “Christian”.
Checkout: Wow, I don’t even know where Christia is!
Yoohoo: Don’t you know anything? Christians are people who live according to the words of their Lord and God, Jesus Christ. They say that those who come to Christ are “born again”.
Spook: (takes Bible from McCaw) Precisely what we discovered – the Christian had experienced a new birth. It was also confirmed in the book: “No-one can see the Kingdom of God, unless he is born again.”
McCaw: The tricorder readings also indicated that the Christian continually receives new life, as if he is constantly being renewed.
Spook: And listen to this: “Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day”. The experience confirms what the Book says.
(Yoohoo comes over to Spook & starts flicking through Bible)
Captain: So, what is the purpose of all this?
Yoohoo: Here’s the answer, sir: “Those whom God had already chosen, He also set apart to become like his Son”. So it is God’s purpose to change Christians into the likeness of Jesus.
Checkout: He’s got some job on His hands.
(“Beam up”sfx. Enter Angel stage left)
Angel: Fear not …. again.
Captain: Am I glad to see you. We found the Book of The Beginning and it showed us the answer to the question.
Checkout: It did?
Spook: Indeed, Mr Checkout. You see, our question was “Why was The Beginning?” The Book clearly tells us that God created man so that He could have a people that would be like His Son. It’s all perfectly logical.
Angel: It’s also perfectly loving. God knew that humans could not become like Jesus by their own efforts, so He sent Jesus to earth to be like them, and teach them how to be like Him.
Checkout: And He set the future in advance for those who believe in His Son. Wow. That is awesome.
Angel: The Book also tells you when He predestinated His chosen ones.
Spook: (Getting excited.) Please tell us! (Regains composure as rest of crew stare.) With such good news it is perfectly logical to get emotional.
Yoohoo: It says here that God has chosen the saints in Christ before the world was created. That’s incredible!
(Spotty takes Bible from Yoohoo.)
Spotty: Hmm, and look here – the first words in the Book: “In the beginning”. What an odd way tae start a book.
(Spotty wanders round to show Checkout, who takes the Bible from him. Spotty returns to position)
McCaw: Most books start at the beginning. This starts in the beginning. So the beginning isn’t just related to time.
Angel: What does the Book say about The Beginning?
Checkout: It says here, “In the beginning, the World already existed; he was with God, and he was the same as God.” So The Beginning isn’t just related to a place, either.
(Yoohoo crosses behind all to beside Checkout. Takes Bible & returns to position)
Angel: That’s right. The Beginning is not a time or a place. The Beginning is a Person.
(Revelation dawns on all)
Captain: So our question should have been, “Who is The Beginning?”
Yoohoo: (Jumps up, excited) “I am the Beginning”.
Spotty: Nae, ye’re not, Yoohoo. Dinnae be daft.
Yoohoo: Actually, I was quoting from the Book: “I am the first and the last, the Beginning and the Ending”.
Captain: Who said it, Yoohoo?
(All wait, anxious to hear)
Yoohoo: The Lord Jesus Christ.
McCaw: So He is The Beginning.
Checkout: And the Ending.
Spotty: The Alpha.
Spook: And the Omega.
Angel: And your mission is accomplished.
Captain: That’s where you’re wrong. Our mission is only just starting. Now we know The Beginning, we must boldly go on to fulfill our destiny – to be conformed to the image of Christ. (Rises to his feet & steps forward) The real issue is, who will join us on our mission?
(Rest of crew gather around Captain)
(To audience) Who is willing to pay the price, to seek out this new life? Who will take up the challenge to follow the Beginning to the end? If you want to discover God’s purpose for your life, boldly go with us on the…
All: Starship Destiny!!!
(Theme music, lights out & music fades)
© Copyright Barry Brannen, all rights reserved.
This script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author. This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at