Summary: A companion piece to “How Does God Know I Have a Broken Heart?” This time Dr. McDreamy visits with a rough character named “Guy” who needs a better understanding of God’s grace. Keywords: Grace
Style: Light-hearted. Duration: 10min
Actors: 2M
Scripture: Matthew 10:8
Characters: 2M
Script
(Opening setting: Tough male patient sitting on a chair just one side of center stage. Keeps checking his watch until Dr Mc walks in…)
Dr Mc: Good morning, welcome to Grace Hospital – I’m the attending physician Dr McDreamy, and…
Guy: (Interrupts) You’re kidding, right?
Dr Mc: I would never kid about the name of the hospital. What seems to be bothering you today?
Guy: A problem.
Dr. Mc: Appendix?
Guy: No, but…
Dr. Mc: Excess muscles…
Guy: Well, maybe, but that’s not it. You see, I…
Dr. Mc: Something requiring triage or at least an oversized band-aid.
Guy: NO!
Dr Mc: OK, calm down, sir. I know, let’s lighten things up here. Hey, I got one for you – if the removal of the appendix is an appendectomy, and the removal of the tonsils is a tonsillectomy, what’s the condition that requires the partial removal of excess follicle residue?
Guy: Haircut.
Dr. Mc: Acht – heard that one before, eh?
Guy: Has anyone ever told you you’re a little squirrelly?
Dr Mc: I’m sorry, I had a strange patient last week – and I think the way she acted rubbed off on me a bit. Please continue. By the way, you can call me McDreamy.
Guy: (Beat) I’d rather walk barefoot in snow. I’d rather gargle with gravel. I’d rather crush pretzels with my eyelids.
Dr Mc: You can do that?
Guy: Do you have any on you?
Dr Mc: No.
Guy: Good – then yes, I can do that.
Dr. Mc: Is your problem lying?
Guy: Well, I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a problem, but that’s not why I’m here.
Dr Mc: Well wax on – Danielson (Laughs – Guy doesn’t – stops laughing – says seriously) proceed.
Guy: I have a full-blown case of grudge and I don’t know what to do with it.
Dr Mc: Yikes, not even two aspirin and a morning phone call can fix that.
Guy: Is it terminal?
Dr Mc: It can be, but we might have caught it in time.
Guy: Will it require a hospital stay?
Dr Mc: Not unless you enjoy spending lots of money for marginal room service.
Guy: Is there something I can take for it?
Dr Mc: As a matter of fact there is. Regular doses of Matthew 10:8 should do the trick.
Guy: Matthew 10:8?
Dr Mc: Sure, here are the instructions. Give as freely as you have received!
Guy: (Slowly questioning) Give as freely as you have received?
Dr Mc: (Acts as if he’s ready to leave) Yep, thanks for dropping by, glad we could help. Have a nice day.
Guy: Hey, wait a minute. What did I ever receive? Life hasn’t exactly been the nicest to me.
Dr Mc: Ah, that’s where most people make their mistake.
Guy: What are you talking about?
Dr Mc: Can you breathe?
Guy: Yeah, but…
Dr Mc: Can you think?
Guy: What are you sayin’?
Dr Mc: Can you use your muscles to crush aluminum cans on your kneecap.
Guy: Well, sure, but…
Dr Mc: Then it’s time to give back.
Guy: I thought you could help, but…
Dr Mc: I just did. God gave you everything. He’s offered you air to breathe, water to drink, food to eat and the ability to work. He’s offered forgiveness for all the stupid things you’ve done…
Guy: Hey…
Dr Mc: We’ve all done stupid things, like the time I tilted the vending machine to get an extra bag of Cheese-its.
Guy: You are a rebel.
Dr Mc: Not proud of it, my friend. Jesus offers us a forever with Him and best of all He offers love.
Guy: So, I’m supposed to give back to others…
Dr Mc: Because He gave to you.
Guy: What about the way I feel?
Dr Mc: Feelings are useful, but kind of subjective.
Guy: So what do I rely on?
Dr Mc: Facts – pure, simple, unfiltered facts.
Guy: OK, so I should forgive – I got it, but I could put it last on my bucket list?
Dr Mc: That’s about the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.
Guy: Hey.
Dr Mc: No offense – just call it like I see it.
Guy: So, what do I do?
Dr Mc: Forgive now – have peace for a really long time.
Guy: Hold up – explain the forgiveness thing again.
Dr Mc: OK – try this – when you don’t forgive, it’s like taking poison and hoping the other person dies.
Guy: Wow – profound in an existential kind of way.
Dr Mc: Nope – pure fact my friend. Profound yes – existential – no.
(Start to leave stage)
Guy: Do you have anything for extra long toenails?
Dr Mc: Ummm… clippers.
Guy: What about pimples?
Dr Mc: Clearasil pads – don’t eat them.
Guy: You really are pretty smart.
Dr Mc: And I’m feeling less threatened than I did a few minutes ago. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought you were going to hurt me.
Guy: Well, I forgive you. Wow, that wasn’t too hard.
Fade to black
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© Copyright Glenn Hascall, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.
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