Style: Lighthearted. Duration: 5 x 60sec.
Actors: 1M + V
Scripture: Jonah
Characters
Jonah- same actor/actress should play role throughout to be familiar with audience.
Press Agent- has role in third week.
Assorted Journalist- used for scene set-up and one question in last week.
Props
Nameplate with ‘Jonah, Son of Amittai’ written on it.
Fisherman’s hat and vest for Jonah
Seaweed, fake fish, water
Beard
Script
(Scene: his can be done by video taping or live performance. Solitary podium situated in front of journalists that are seated.)
WEEK ONE(1): Jonah 1:1-3
(Jonah enters and places nameplate on podium)
I am Jonah, Son of Amittai, thank you for coming to my press conference on such short notice. I have an opening statement. God has commanded me to go to Nineveh and cry out against their wickedness. I will not follow this command (journalists mumble among themselves), instead I am going to Tarshish to escape this command. I know this comes as a shock to all of you, there will be no question and answer period for I have a boat and hopefully some fish to catch. Thank you.
(Jonah picks up nameplate and exits. Journalists try to object while he is leaving.)
WEEK TWO(2): Jonah 1:4-17
(Jonah enters a little haggard and wet. Puts nameplate on podium)
Thank you for braving the severe weather outside to make today’s press conference. When I last left you, I was going to take a boat away from the presence of God. I made my sail time, but as you can tell this is not ideal weather for a three hour cruise. The captain and first mate are wonderful. I suggested for fun throwing me over board, but they insisted that was not their job, it was the cruise director’s job and they don’t have a cruise director. And it is not like I can walk on water. The rest of the crew are planning a buoyancy test and they say that they can’t do the test without me. So again, thank you for coming and no questions.
(Jonah picks up nameplate and exits. Journalists try to object while he is leaving.)
WEEK THREE(3): Jonah 2:2-8
(Press agent in suit walks up to podium- Jonah’s nameplate is already there)
PA:- Good morning and thank you for coming to Jonah, Son of Amittai’s 3rd press conference. I am Judah Trump, Son of the Donald, Jonah’s press agent. Jonah will be unable to attend today’s press conference for he is in a belly of a rather large fish. (Journalists mumble among themselves) I know this is a shock to all of you. The details are sketchy but we believe it had something to do with a boat, a storm, and a human sacrifice, or maybe just a horrible fishing accident. I have instructed my client not to answer any questions at this time. Thank you.
(Press agent exits stage leaving Jonah’s nameplate behind. Journalist try to object while he is leaving)
WEEK FOUR(4): Jonah 3: 1-10
(Jonah enters wet and covered in seaweed and various small fish. Puts name plate on podium.)
Thank you for coming to my 4th press conference. I apologize for missing the last one. I was called away abruptly from my vacation. God has my full attention now, and I will be traveling to Nineveh. I will tell them that God will destroy them in 40 days, if they do not repent. I plan to stay on the outskirts of town to avoid being caught up in the destruction and I will return here with a full account of the disaster. Nineveh, you’re hailstoned. Nineveh, you’re brimstoned. Nineveh, you’re fired. Yeah, that’s it. I’ll need to get with my press agent Judah trump on that one. No questions and thank you.
(Jonah picks up nameplate and exits. Journalists try to object while he is leaving)
WEEK FIVE(5): Jonah 4
(Jonah enters, obviously upset, slams nameplate on podium. He is wearing beard to reflect 40 days has past.)
Thank you for coming to my final press conference. I’d rather be dead, than to be here right now.
R- Didn’t God destroy Nineveh like you said he would?
J- Nooooo! (sarcastically) I went all that way for a good ole’ fashioned city annihilation and all I got was a bad sunburn and a worm eaten plant. I named the plant Wilson. He was a good plant and I’ll miss him. It is better for me to die than to live . I’ll take questions now.
(All reporters stand up and leave without asking questions)
J- There goes my fifteen minutes of fame.
(Jonah freezes and fades to black)
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© Copyright Mike Petrin, all rights reserved. The script may not be reproduced, translated or copied in any medium, including books, CDs and on the Internet, without written permission of the author.
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