Sheep1: Baaa! (rolls his eyes in ecstasy)
Sheep2: Baaa! You said it. This is the best stuff that I’ve had in a long time.
Sheep3: That right. It doesn’t get much better than this my little lambs.
Sheep1: Baaaa! You’re darn skippy. It’s a good thing for us that you got our attention. I’ve never seen you in our flock before. What’s your name?
Sheep3: Lycos is the name, greener pastures is the game.
Sheep1&2: Baaa. (both nodding in agreement)
Sheep2: I’ve never seen you before either. Are you a part of our flock?
Sheep3: I’m part of a different flock. We eat like this all the time.
Sheep1: Baaaall the time?
Sheep3: Well not all the time. I mean you can’t exactly graze while your coat is being shorn in the latest fashion. Of course having your horns weatherized in the afternoons does take up a significant amount of time, also. And then having to pick up your wool coat from the dry cleaners also takes up a significant part of your day. (Sheep1&2’s mouths drop open in wonder) There is only so much one can do during a busy day.
Sheep2: Baaa. Your shepherd lets you do all these things?
Sheep3: Yep, our shepherd believes in the good life for us. We even have a football team. They won the championship last year. You may have heard of them — the Rams. Yep, the good life. That’s why our shepherd has me always looking out for the greener pastures.
Sheep1: Baaa. We have a sheep dog that is suppose to do that. But he does a very baaaad job of it.
Sheep3: (snort) He probably wastes all his time looking out for wolves.
Sheep1&2: BAAAA! (both shriek in horror)
Sheep3: Calm down, calm down. There aren’t any wolves around here. Do you see any wolves around here?
Sheep2: Baaa. No, but the shepherd told us to always be on the lookout for them.
Sheep3: Did he really say that?
Sheep2: He sure did. Baaa. (“honest, he did” complete with raising of right hand)
Sheep1: Baaabsolutely.
Sheep3: Have you ever seen a wolf before?
Sheep1: No, not that I — baaa — know of.
Sheep3: Than how do you know that they even exist?
Sheep2: (seriously) The shepherd said that they do and that they hide in the high grass near the creek.
Sheep3: You don’t have anything to worry about here. So just eat up and enjoy. ( they do, pause) You know something . . . naaa you probably wouldn’t be interested. (they aren’t they just keep eating). You’re probably satisfied enough with that green grass and you don’t need anything more than that.
Sheep2: BAAAA no.(keeps on eating)
Sheep3: If there were greener, tastier grass somewhere else you probably wouldn’t even be curious would you?
Sheep1: Baaa. What do you mean?(with mouth full of green)
Sheep2: Why aren’t you eating?
Sheep3: (caught off guard, but regains composure) I already ate. Besides, I know where the really good stuff is — down the hill a bit — near the creek.
Sheep1&2: Near the creek! BAAAA!
Sheep3: There ain’t no stinking wolves around here!(snort) I know your shepherd. You see, I used to run with your flock. The reason that he doesn’t want you to go near the high grass is because he doesn’t think that you are ready for it. He is worried that you won’t share the blessing with all the sheep. And rightly so. There is enough for everybody though. Why not show your shepherd that you’ve become wise and bring the good life to the rest of your flock?
Sheep2: BAAAAye don’t know. The shepherd was pretty clear about the high grass and the baaad wolves.
Sheep3: Look, haven’t I given you your hearts desire? Doesn’t it make you hungry for more? I wouldn’t steer you wrong. Why not show the shepherd how wise you’ve become and reap the harvest for all to share in?
Sheep2: Baaaye no means should we go near the high grass. We’re perfectly content with the grass we’ve been given. (she says this while looking longingly at the bowl of green on her plate)
Sheep3: Look, my little lamb chop, (Sheep1 takes a quizzical double take at ‘lamb chop’) we’re arguing. I’m like you, you’re like me. Don’t you remember the shepherd said something like ‘make every effort to live in unity — bla bla something — through the bond of peace’?
Sheep1: Baaaye say that we vote on it.
Sheep3: Excellent idea! (to Sheep1) You know,
you’re a very progressive thinker. (Sheep1 basks in the flattery)
All in favor of the shepherd’s commandment to live in unity raise their
right paw, I mean hoof!
(Sheep1&3 raise immediately. Sheep2, not quite seeing what
just happened, raises her hand)
Sheep3: That settles it! And everybody says that sheep are dumb. Welcome to the new age of greener pastures for ewe and me. And no more fear of the ‘big bad wolf’. (laughs a bit with a few snorts) Let’s go right away and taste the good life. (all start to file out) I’m famished.
Sheep2: I thought that you said that you already ate.
Sheep3: Considering what lies ahead, I’ve not yet begun to eat
. . . I’ve not yet begun. (Sheep3 is the last to exit and poking out from
under his sheeps costume we see his big shaggy wolf tail.)
....................................................................................
© Eric Stapleton, All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are
not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange
for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and
for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: eric_the_nomad@netzero.net