By Melinda Cousins
A series of clients visit a makeover clinic with various requirements. One,
however, needs a makeover on the inside rather than the outside. This skit was
written to introduce a five week sermon series on the book of James called “"Extreme
Makeover."
Note: There is a powerpoint presentation which goes with the skit, providing
the photos which the receptionist displays to potential clients. Alternative
pictures could be used (for example, I"m not sure how well the Prince Charles
gag would work in the US).
The sermon topics were "Big Ears" (James 1:19-25) "Dirty Hands" (James 2:14-26) "Pierced Tongue" (James 3:1-12) "Hunched Back" (James 4:7-10) "Calloused Knees" (James 5:13-18).
Receptionist
Four potential clients
1. girl with fairly big nose
2. cartoon of girl with very big nose
3. Tara Reid
4. fish with big lips
5. Julia Roberts
6. Jocelyn Wildenstein
7. Meg Ryan
8. Prince Charles
9. drawing of all elements
(R seated at desk. A enters.)
R: Hi! Welcome to the Extreme Makeover clinic. What are you thinking about having done?
A: Well, it's my nose. I'm not very happy with it.
R: Rhinoplasty? Okay. Let me see what options we've got on file. (uses computer to bring up picture 1 on screen)
A: Uh, no I don't think so
R: Okay (picture 2)
A: Are you joking? (goes to walk away)
R: Wait, wait, what about this one? (picture 3)
A: Yeah! That's it! It's perfect! Just what I've always wanted.
R: Right then. I'll just book you in to have that one done next week (writes down something). See you then.
A: Thanks, bye!
(A exits. B enters.)
R: Hi! Welcome to the Extreme Makeover clinic. What are you thinking of having done?
B: My lips. They're not puffy enough, you know?
R: Ah, collagen injections. Not a problem. What do you think? (picture 4)
B: (incredulous look)
R: Okay, okay, just a bit of fun. How about this? (picture 5)
B: Not bad.
R: It is our most popular lip option.
B: Well, okay then.
R: Great, we'll book you in for that right now. (Writes something down)
B: See you next week.
(B exits. C enters).
R: Hi! Welcome to the Extreme Makeover clinic. What were you thinking of having done?
C: Uh, well you know how it is. I'm getting older and there's a few wrinkles appearing.
R: So, just a general facelift?
C: That's what I was hoping for.
R: Let me show you some options. (Picture 6)
C: That looks a little over the top.
R: This one? (Picture 7)
C: Much better. Wow! You can actually make me look like that?
R: Absolutely! I'll book you in right now.
C Okay. Thanks.
(C exits.D enters.)
R: Hi! Welcome to the Extreme Makeover clinic. What were you thinking of having done?
D: It's my ears. They're too small, don"t you think?
R: Ear augmentation? We don't get too many requests for that. Um ...(picture 8) something like this?
D: Oh no! They're way too small. I want mine much bigger than that!
R: Okay &. (starts to look for more pictures)
D: But wait a second. There's a couple of other things I want to get done at the same time.
R: Such as?
D: Well, my hands. They're so white! Could you like permanently stain them or something to make them look dirty?
R: Dirty hands?
D: Yeah, and then I want to get my tongue pierced...
R: (nods and writes something down)
D: ...and my back. It's so straight! Could you make it like hunched over?
R: (looks incredulous)
D: ...and finally my knees. They"re just so ... normal! I want them to be like knobbly, lots of callouses you know?
R: Okaaaaaay &... so you want to look something like this? (picture 9)
D: I guess so &...
R: Look. Why don't you take a seat? Big ears, dirty hands, pierced tongue, hunched back and knobbly knees. Why don't you tell me why you want all this done?
D: Well, there's this guy ...
R There always is.
D: No, not that kind of guy. There's this guy called James, and he said that I should have bigger ears because then I can listen more you know, and he said I need to start getting my hands dirty, and of course if I have my tongue pierced won't talk too much and I need to remember to be more ...
R: Look, I don't think you're in the right place. Have you ever considered that what you really need is an extreme makeover on the INSIDE?
D: An extreme makeover on the inside! I never thought of that!
................................
© 2004 Melinda Cousins, all rights reserved.
This script may be used without royalty payment, provided no charge is made
for entrance to the performance. In return the author would like to be told
of any performance. She may be contacted at melinda.cousins@bigpond.com