By Dean Herring
Who are you really. Which hat do you wear when no one else is watching?
I like to think of myself as a man of many hats,
A hat for each occasion, quite fitting, very apt,
Let me introduce you to my millinery deeds,
Where what I wear above all else, is suited to my needs
On Mondays there’s my working hat, one of the lads, that's me,
The dodgey jokes don’t hurt no one, well no one I can see,
If the job’s not up to scratch, not my fault now, is it!
The other blokes can fix it up, I’ve done my little bit
Tuesday sees me back at school, the innocence of youth
Is hidden in my cap in class! It sort of covers up the truth,
Cos when I wear it round the place I can lie and swear and cheat
Then take it off when I get home, and no one knows, it’s neat!
The middle of the week and Wednesdays hat’s for home
Grizzling and squabbling and arguments, a sulk, a scrap, a moan,
If someone comes to the door tho’, the families got a change,
To love and peace and sweet and light, and home home on the range
A social lid for Thursday, to get on with the crowd,
I heard Mrs Smith and whats-his-name were...quiet now not so loud,
Of course I’m not to gossip, but I heard it very clear,
My sources are impeccable, knew from the start my dear
Friday night is party night, a party hat of course,
I never smoke or drink a thing, well, sometimes if I’m forced,
Because keeping a promise is important, but so is keeping mates,
Besides, I’m always...well I’m mostly...I’m sometimes well behaved
on dates
Saturday, my sports hat, I’ll call the ref. what I darn like,
He should have brought his glasses, I shoulda bought a knife!
It’s not that I’m one eyed mate, Go the Reds and go the Blacks,
But I’ll say what I like when I’m on the bank, cos I’m wearing
my sporting hat
A different hat for Sunday, when I join the congregation,
A stirring sing from the songbook, some praise from the Songs of the Nation,
I know all the Holy jargon, I charismatically raise my arms,
I even clap on the off-beat, and know there’s 150 Psalms.
You maybe think I’d get confused with all my different hats,
But actually it’s quite easy, and no one smells a rat,
In fact I think it’s catching on, there’s other folk like me,
Who realise now that what you are, is what you want others to see.
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c.Dean Herring 1998’
Copyright Dean Herring, all rights reserved. This poem may be performed
publicly without royalty provided no entrance fee is charged. In return,
the author would appreciate being notified of any performance. He may be
contacted at deansim1@optusnet.com.au