By Marc Harrison
A wife's need to tidy the house threatens the start of a vacation.
Husband and wife
A Broom and/or duster
(Scene: A husband and wife have their bags packed and are getting ready to leave on vacation. The wife stops to straighten up the house.)
Husband: Could you please tell me what you're doing?
Wife: I'm straightening up a few things - hold your horses.
Husband: We are suppose to be leaving on vacation!
Wife: That's why I'm doing it!
Husband: Huh?
Wife: I don't want to leave a dirty house while we're gone. I'm nearly done.
Husband: Why does it matter? No one is going to be here and no one is going to visit - unless we get robbed. And I don't think a robber will care.
Wife: Very funny! You men never understand anything!
Husband: I understand we're going to miss our plane if you don't come on. I understand you're a perfectionist when it comes to this house!
Wife: I just don't like leaving a dirty house. And I am not a perfectionist! My mother was, but I'm not!
Husband: OK, so then why does it matter if we leave a few things scattered around while we're on vacation?
Wife: First of all, I won't have a good time.
Husband: How does a little dust back home keep you from having a good time on vacation?
Wife: If I leave a dirty house behind, then I'll dread coming home to it.
Husband: So you should enjoy being "ON VACATION", you should want our vacation to last as long as possible putting off having to face "the dreaded dirty house home coming"!
Wife: It doesn't work that way.
Husband: OK, so how does it work?
Wife: If I know I have to come home to a mess, then I'll spend my whole vacation thinking about cleaning house. I'll have a lousy time! If you really love me and want me to have a great vacation, then you'll stop yelling at me and help me clean up!
Husband: That's just the point! It's not that dirty! You're a perfectionist!
Wife: Well...maybe just a little bit. But I wouldn't be if you weren't such a slob!
Husband: I'm not a slob! It's just not as important to me. I live my life by GRACE.
Wife: What's that got to do with anything?
Husband: I realized that I'm not perfect and never will be. And if God can accept me even though I'm not perfect, I figure you should too.
Wife: Number 1, I'm not God. And number 2, I think you're just using this as an excuse for the fact that you're a slob and don't even try to change!
Husband: If I can't ever be perfect, then why waste time trying?
Wife: Because God wants us to try our best. And I don't think you should use Him as an excuse for being a slob!
Husband: You think I would use God as an excuse to not clean house?
Wife: Yes I do!
Husband: Well, I might - but if we don't hurry, we're going to spend whole our vacation cleaning house. Planes don't wait!
Wife: It only takes 20 minutes to get to the airport and our plane doesn't leave for 2 hours! Don't you think you're a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to getting to the airport early?
Husband: Huh?
Wife: Let's go dear or we'll miss our plane!
© Marc Harrison
All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that
copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee
charged.
In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being
notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed.
He may be contacted at: marcha@radiks.net