Mates Episode 3 - the One with the Girlfriend

By Tom Bullock (et. al.)

Summary

MATES is a series of sketches that regularly appear in the MIX services at Preston Road Church (Yeovil, Somerset, England). They are a spin off from the popular sitcom, FRIENDS. While not directly Christian based, they are designed to tackle moral issues that are related to Christianity. In this episode, issues of faithfulness are explored. Tom';s girlfriend is unfaithful to him and "Parcel Farce" do not keep their promise to Lucy-Ann.

Setting

The 'MATES' Flat (Living Room).

Characters

Voice over (Can be pre-recorded if necessary)
Tom
Sarah
Lucy-Ann

Props

Two Mobile Phones; A Photo of Gemma, Tom's Girlfriend; a bottle of Tango; a newspaper for Sarah to read.

Script

(Opening Theme - See footnote for how to obtain sounds)

Voice Over:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
And here's another episode of MATES,
Especially for you! 

Lucy-Ann: (On phone) That's good, you'll deliver my "techno-whizzer box!" And when will it be delivered? ... later on today? ... Oh that's brilliant! ... Oh, don't worry about that, I've got faith that you'll deliver on time! (Hangs up)
Brilliant! My new techno-whizzer box! is going to be delivered later on by that world renowned delivery company, Parcel Farce!

Tom Enters 

Tom: (Looking chuffed) Hello, Lucy-Ann, Hi Sarah! Are you Alright? 

Lucy-Ann: Yes Thanks Tom! 

Sarah: You seem rather happy today, Tom! 

Tom: Yes I am! I've just spent the morning with my girlfriend, Gemma! 

Lucy-Ann: Oooooh! You've not told us about her before! 

Sarah: What does she look like? 

Tom: I've got a photo' of her here - (hands to Lucy-Ann and Sarah) Be careful of it though! 

Lucy-Ann and Sarah: She looks very pretty. 

Tom: The only problem is that she does ballet and she's just roped me into helping her with the ballet of Swan Lake! She's playing the leading female part, but the leading male part fell down and broke his leg, so I accidentally managed to get given the role. That will teach me to boast about how I'm better than all the others. 

Sarah: It sure will! You can't dance at all! 

Tom: (Depressed) I know, and, to make matters worse, Gemma won't be able to rehearse with me, because she's busy seeing John - the one who broke his leg - in hospital! The show's going to be a disaster! She'll be horrified when she finds out the truth about my ability to dance. 

Lucy-Ann: You mean your inability to dance! 

Tom: Ye.. Hey! 

Lucy-Ann: Don't you think that you're being rather dishonest, Tom? 

Tom: No! 

Sarah: But Tom, your poor girlfriend is going to have faith in you, faith that you'll be all right to perform with in Swan Lake, with no practice! She thinks that you can dance but you can't! 

Tom: Oh, that's where you're wrong! You see, I've contacted [Member of congregation or Minister's name] School of Dance - There's a man there who tells me that he's an excellent dancing instructor and he's teaching me everything that I need to know! I had my first lesson yesterday. It wasn't too bad ... well, it was O.K. 

Sarah: Tom, you don't fool me that easily. Tell me the truth! 

Tom: Well it all went wrong. I walked off the dance floor, when he said it was time for the Tango, because I thought he meant that it was time for a drink! (Holds up bottle of Tango). To be honest, it was a nightmare! 

(Phone rings) 

Tom: Oh! That's my phone! 

(Phone rings) 

Lucy-Ann: Oh! That's my phone! (Answers phone) Hello! (Away from Phone) It's one of the delivery men from Parcel Farce! 

Tom: (Answers phone) Hello! (Away from Phone) It's Gemma! (Back on phone). And how are you today? ... (Delighted) ... you haven't! 

NOTE THAT THE TEXT IN ITALICS OVERLAPS WITH THE NEXT LINE. 

Lucy-Ann: ... (Really Crossly) You haven't! So you mean that I won't get my techno-whizzer box, because you went to [Somewhere local] instead of [Location of Church]? That was rather careless! ... (Sarcasticly) Brilliant! You are an absolute ... 

Tom: ... you are an absolutely amazing person, Gemma, you've managed to get John back to full fitness, so that he can dance, after all! 

Lucy-Ann: after all, that is what I paid for! (To Audience) Would you believe it, That stupid Parcel Farce! man set the sat.nav. in his van on the wrong course! 

Tom: Course I don't mind, Gemma! (Away from phone - happy, to audience) Would you believe it, I don't have to do Swan Lake after all! (Back on phone) Oh yes, ...  (Disappointed) Oh, so you won't be seeing me Tomorrow, or the day after, but Gemma .... I suppose, yes, you've got to do some last minute practicing with John, then you've got to massage his ... Oh his leg, yes, to make it better, yes. Oh well, make sure you text me later on!... No, I don't mind (but he does) - (Away from phone) At least I don't have to make a fool of myself in Swan Lake - that's absolutely brilliant. 

Lucy-Ann: Sarcastically) ... absolutely brilliant! So I've got to wait till next week just because you've wasted the day...

Tom: .. the day Dancing? You're spending the rest of the day dancing with John, ready for the show! ... Yes, it's a shame that you've got to be with him and not me, I think you're going to have spent more time with him this week than you've ever spent with me, but after all, it's only a week! .. What? No, Gemma, of course I don't think that you're being un-faithful to me after all, I've got faith... 

Lucy-Ann: ... faith in you, I did! I had faith in you, and what do you do? Waste a day driving to the wrong place and then you don't even ... 

Tom: You don't even realise how much I don't mind ... Oh, 

Lucy-Ann: (Moodily) Yes! 

Tom: Yes, darling, I love you and I will always... 

Lucy-Ann: I will always hold this against you. Good bye! (Hangs up). 

Tom: Goodbye Sweetie pie! (Hangs up). Right ... (Lucy-Ann is about to sit on Gemma's photo) Be careful of Gemma! I mean, the photo' of Gemma! (Leaves photo' on sofa.) ... Phew! ... I'm going to hang on to this phone, because Gemma said that she'll send me a text, a little bit later! (Exits) 

Voice Over:  A little bit later... 

Sarah: I wonder where Tom is. He went off a couple of minutes ago, to read the text from his girlfriend. 

Tom: (Off stage - sad) I don't believe it! I just don't believe it! (Enters stage). 

Sarah: Hi, Tom! Oh, incidentally, you left Gemma's photo' here! (Gives it to Tom, who rips it up into lots of small pieces). Tom, what's wrong? ... Was it that text? 

Tom: Yes ... look (Hands Lucy-Ann phone). 

Sarah: (Reading from phone) Sorry, Tom. Thought it was about time I told you that I've been dating John for two weeks, now. Guess it's goodbye. Gemma. Oh, I'm sorry Tom. 

Tom: Brilliant isn't it. I was pleased that I'd got a girlfriend and didn't see that coming - going off with John behind my back. How unfaithful! 

Lucy-Ann: Seems that you've lost your faith in Gemma and I've lost my faith in Parcel Farce. 

Tom: (Still fuming) Brilliant isn't it, just brilliant! (Lobs the bits of photo into the air and storms off stage.) 

(Boom Boom Bam Boom) 

Voice Over: Ahh. Isn't that sad. Oh! Am I on now?
Will Gemma ever go back to Tom?
Does she realise that she's missed out on the better guy?
And what is a techno-whizzer box?
Find out another time on MATES! 

(Closing Theme)

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© Tom Bullock (et al). All rights reserved
This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged, unless if the money goes to a charity or good cause. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the script is performed. He will send you the sound files that are used in this episode of MATES for free, by e mail. The author may be contacted at: tom_david_bullock@yahoo.co.uk.