Mr. O’Shaughnessy – 4th grade teacher
Mrs. Wahl – mother
Mrs. Stanton: Thank you, Mr. O’Shaughnessy.
Mr. O: Please, call me Mr. O. All the kids call me that.
Mrs. Wahl: Yes, I know.
Mr. O: Well, let’s get started. I asked you to come in so we could talk about Jeremy’s progress.
Mrs. Wahl: Yes.
Mr. O: I have some good news and some bad news.
Mrs. Wahl: Oh?
Mr. O: First for the good news. Jeremy has come a long way since he first came to fourth grade.
Mrs. Wahl: That’s good to hear.
Mr. O: He has a great imagination. Take a look at this composition he wrote. It’s about a truck made out of Jell-O that runs on spaghetti for fuel. The driver has to stop at diners along the road instead of gas stations. The waitresses are always amazed at how much food one man orders. Here, he drew a picture of the driver carrying a pile of take-out boxes, which reaches to the ceiling of the diner.
Mrs. Wahl: Wow! That’s quite a story.
Mr. O: Yes, it is. I just told the class to let their imaginations run wild and that’s what Jeremy came up with.
Mrs. Wahl: That’s very creative, isn’t it?
Mr. O: Oh, Jeremy seems to have no trouble with creativity. Here’s another composition he wrote. This one is about a group of Native American Indians. The setting is in the time of the pilgrims. The Indians had an eagle, which was as big as a 747. The eagle would fly them to the moon where they would pick up a new supply of war paint. Each of the craters on the moon had a different color of war paint in it.
Mrs. Wahl: Oh my goodness! I didn’t know Jeremy had such a vivid imagination.
Mr. O: He really does, and I’ve been trying to encourage him in his writing.
Mrs. Wahl: Thank you.
Mr. O: Now as for his math, I’m sure you’re well aware that he has a great aptitude for math.
Mrs. Wahl: Yes, he loves math.
Mr. O: He was the only one in the class to get 100% on the last test I gave.
Mrs. Wahl: That’s great!
Mr. O: The one subject he seems to be a bit weak in is history, but right now he even has a B in that.
Mrs. Wahl: Wonderful!
Mr. O: So, all in all, Jeremy’s schoolwork is not a problem.
Mrs. Wahl: Well, I think I’ll be going now. (She pretends she is leaving.)
Mr. O: Don’t you want to hear the bad news?
Mrs. Wahl: Mr. O, the good news has been so glowing, so wonderful that the bad news must be very bad indeed. I’m not sure I want to stick around for it. But I suspect that’s really why you wanted to see me.
Mr. O: I must confess the bad news is why you’re here.
Mrs. Wahl: All right, go ahead.
Mr. O: (Removes glasses, puts hands over face and pulls hands down face in desperation.) Mrs. Wahl, he’s driving me crazy!!!
Mrs. Wahl: (Laughs nervously) What do you mean?
Mr. O: I mean, I think he’s out to get me, send me over the edge! Let me give you an example. Yesterday the vice-principal wanted to talk to me in the hall. I gave the kids an assignment to do and went out to see him. Everyone else started working. Jeremy followed me right out, even though the vice-principal was there! Sometimes I feel like he’s my shadow. He doesn’t let up for one minute.
Mrs. Wahl: I know what you mean. It seems like unrelenting pressure.
Mr. O: Exactly.
Mrs. Wahl: And you think it’s because he doesn’t like you so he’s trying to get under your skin.
Mr. O: That’s just what I’ve been thinking.
Mrs. Wahl: Well, Mr. O, you are the first male teacher Jeremy has ever had. He not only likes you; he seems to worship the ground you walk on.
Mr. O: You’re kidding.
Mrs. Wahl: I’m serious. Everyday when he comes home from school he talks to me about Mr. O. He never mentions the other kids anymore, it’s just Mr. O did this and Mr. O did that.
Mr. O: Really?
Mrs. Wahl: Really, and I know all about the “swirlies”.
Mr. O: You do? (Embarrassed)
Mrs. Wahl: Yes. He told me how you take him into the restroom that’s right off your classroom, wet his hair from the faucet, flush the toilet and tell the other kids you gave him a swirlie in the toilet for acting up in class.
Mr. O: Yes well…
Mrs. Wahl: He thinks it’s great, and so do I!
Mr. O: You do?
Mrs. Wahl: I certainly do. You are a very good influence on him and I’m grateful. Jeremy is not an easy child to raise. I feel that I have to constantly keep my guard up with him so he doesn’t gain an upper hand on me.
Mr. O: I know what you mean.
Mrs. Wahl: He’s the type of child who needs firm control and constant direction. He can use his great imagination for finding ways around whatever you tell him.
Mr. O: Don’t I know it!
Mrs. Wahl: It’s not easy.
Mr. O: No, it’s not.
Mrs. Wahl: But I’ll make a deal with you.
Mr. O: What’s that?
Mrs. Wahl: I’ll stay on him at home if you’ll stay on him at school. Deal? (Offers to shake hands)
Mr. O: Deal. (They shake hands)
Mrs. Wahl: And just remember you only have him for one year, I have him until he’s all grown up.
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Copyright John & Joanne Miller, all rights reserved.
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